After that night, I told to myself that I’ll never share that experience with my readers on my blog. Actually it was a very depressing period of my life and I was at my weakest. I seriously thought that night that I’ll not be able to see the next morning sun. Nevertheless, after around one year, I finally decided to break those mental shackles and write about the darkest night of my life. And which better place to write about the experience than the place from where it all began, the train from Bareilly to Ghaziabad by which I returned to college today after Diwali vacations.
I should start from the morning of 5th January, 2009, or otherwise the whole situation will not be clear. It was a chilly winter morning and I boarded the train from Bareilly to Ghaziabad, to resume college for the 6th semester. Mom insisted on wearing a jacket over the thin sweater I was wearing but I had a tendency to act like ‘Phantom’ in winters, so I refused. And then the journey started, which changed my life for ever.
I was allotted a window seat and despite all my efforts to keep that damn thing closed, it repeatedly unlocked itself and let the chilly breeze in. And as predicted by mom, soon I was shivering like hell. After three hours of journey, I felt some relief when the sun was finally out from. But it was still cold.
Around noon, I reached the college campus and was glad to be back. I took a nap as I was tired after the journey. It was not until in the evening around 6pm, I felt something is wrong within. I had started to shiver and was feeling weak. In addition, I felt some fever too. So, after dinner, I took a Paracetamol and hoped that I’ll be fine.
But by the time the clock struck 9, I knew that it is not just an ordinary fever. I was shivering uncontrollably. My limbs were numb, my forehead was burning, was having fits of cough with sputum, was unable to breathe, and there was no way I could fell asleep.
After three hours of suffering, I decided to repeat the medication as it was obvious that the previous dose had no effect. I took a Vicks Action 500 in order to get some relief from cold apart from fever. But nothing seemed to have been working that night. After an hour or so, I was now spitting blood! At this moment, I wished that God should take my life away so that my suffering could end.
It was 4am and I hadn’t slept a bit. My condition was worse than ever, and the constant shivering was making my life miserable. I am not a religious person, but at that time, I was thinking that if there is God somewhere, He is taking into account for all the sins I have committed in my entire life. All my memories were flashing in front of me, as I waited for the morning sun. Meanwhile, I took another tablet, although I knew I should not because there should be enough gaps between doses.
At 7:30am I some how moved to the mess, so that I could have something for breakfast, because all the medicines I took were not required to take on empty stomach. With utter difficulty, I had a bowl of dalia. And now I had to wait for the campus doctor to come to his clinic.
After 10am, when the doctor arrived, I told him my symptoms, and not to my surprise, he was baffled and immediately referred me to Fortis hospital with number of blood, urine and sputum tests. Later in the afternoon, finally, I was diagnosed of Acute Bronchitis and was put on heavy medication for 7 days.
These two days and the night between them were pretty hard on me. The more I try to forget them, the more they haunt me. The only positive came out of all this fiasco was that I started valuing and respecting life which God has given me. Today, I strongly believe that there was some invisible force, some power, which despite of all my miseries, helped me to pass out that period of agony and suffering and gave me a sort of rebirth in this beautiful world. May God don’t let this happen to anyone what happened to me that night.